Earlier today, I was traversing campus in a failing attempt to prevent lateness, and I found a gazelle.
Now, this wasn't a normal gazelle. He was very tall and lanky, with a strong chin and wavy blonde hair. He even wore clothes! Fantastically enough, this gazelle managed to in every way make himself appear to be a human being, down to grinding his horns small enough to be hidden by a sloppy hat, and shaving enough of his face to appear as a regular human with a beard, suggestive of malehood.
What made this gazelle particularly unusual (aside from his clearly dreadful navigation skills; how far away from home was he?) was his unique hunting tactics.
Yes, hunting.
With elongated, bounding steps, the gazelle casually pranced through a crowd of (clearly imperceptive) human beings, eyes eternally fixed on his target, but each and every action exaggerated as greatly as possible so as to, presumably, prevent any action from making any noise (in this action, he also managed to make himself look like a gigantic bird). Ever so loudly casual, he skipped, stepped, and slipped behind his target, and lept on the figure, with a loud gazelle roar and great kicking of feet. Strangely enough, rather than capitalizing on the kill, the gazelle made great barking noises similar to hyena laughter as he ran away from his perturbed victim.
Strange.
In fact, the more I look around, the more I find my campus looking like a vast, poorly maintained zoo full of animals traveling greatly afar from their respective pigeonholes, or else digging perhaps a little too deeply. Little birds chatter nonsensically on the grass and in the trees, heads jerking as they rubberneck absolutely everything. Great gorillas carry around enormous bags full of, logically, nd excessive amount of bananas, sweating terribly as they lumber from tree to tree.
And, of course, gazelles hunt lions, if for no other reason than they now can.
I think I prefer this animal campus to a regular one. If anything, these strange happenings are more normal than any situation any human could produce!
No comments:
Post a Comment