It's a lot of fun to be a bad guy.
One of my most favorite villains that I've ever had the joy to discover is Syler from the television series Heroes. Even though I've only ever actually finished season one and only saw bits and pieces of the rest...
Damn. I wanna be able to act that scary someday.
Unfortunately, that made watching the same actor (Zachary Quinto) in the 2009 movie adaptation of Star Trek rather comical. I kept expecting Spock to subtly murder the entire crew offscreen, eventually assuming control of the ship as the sole survivor. He could have pulled it off, too, AND beaten Khan single-handedly in the sequel.
To me, Zach was an inspiration to someday play a villain as scary as Syler in a movie.
My mother told me to never accept an offer to play a villain in film or theater.
"Don't be silly, mom. A job is a job. It's hard enough to eat as an actor. At least, until I break through."
She responded with something along the lines of, "Every part you play makes a small art of who you become."
That's a scary thought. I've played a lot of bad guys.
I think that every human being alive wears a metaphorical mask every waking moment of their lives. From about the moment as a toddler that it begins to dawn that how they act affects how they are perceived, and thus treated, masks are collected and fashioned. This is who I am around strangers. This is who I am around mom. This is who I am around dad. This is who I am around my siblings, around my family as a whole, this is who I am at school, at work. Wanna see the mask where I let my hair down? Oops... that's my liar mask.
How much do these masks become us?
One of the best performances I've ever been in was called The Rainmaker. I played a bitter, stern brother named Noah who acted as the sole caretaker and provider of his family in wake of his mother's death, his father's age, and his younger brother's incompetence. He was unmarried, deathly serious, and constantly unhappy, but dammit, he saw to it that his family was taken care of no matter what.
That performance one of my darkest time periods in high school. Although there was outside conflict beyond what I was drawing into myself to prepare for this role, I believe that the mask I was in the process of making for this role had the most negative impact on me out of any role that I've ever accepted. I was depressed. I got into useless fights. For reasons I still can't explain, I intentionally avoided my friends and family. I was at perhaps the second lowest that I have ever been in my life.
But I rocked the hell out of that performance.
... Was it worth it?
By diving that deeply into that role, I put darkness into my soul that I'm still trying to expunge.
There's a colloquial saying, "You are who you hang out with." Another way of putting it is "You are who your friends are," but I consider that one less accurate as some people, either out of some manifestation of masochism or extreme desperation, choose to spend time with people that are not their friends, regardless of what they say or hear, or let themselves think.
Everyone is acting around their friends, assuming a role for the play of life, putting on masks, showing a new face for new people. Are you pretending to be the person you want to become?
If a bad person pretends to be a good person for a long enough time - active, persistent effort - eventually that bad person will be able to look back at his or her life, and see someone that is completely indistinguishable from a good person.
So what happens when a good person spends a long enough time fitting in with bad people?
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